i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
