ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
