I'm jealous of your bromance
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
