On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
