Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
