Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
