Tell her she can't have a vagina
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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