people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
