apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
