standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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