Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
it's like iHOP with fire
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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