A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
