I wish I could punch you in the face.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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