Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
