I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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