She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I have demons in me.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
