I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
