but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize