You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
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As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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