next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize