he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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