you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
