Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
