I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
