I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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