So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
