Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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