Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
