My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize