I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
