dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
