with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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