Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i out mim tonsoeep
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