it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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