jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
