I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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