Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
