I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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