We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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