have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We're too hungover to prance.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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