Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
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