haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize