From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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