So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
