I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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