Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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