I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
