AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
