are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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