OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
