I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
People in love make me want to vomit
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
What drink are we having for lunch?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize