In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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