He asked to "fluff my boner.."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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