I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
