it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
