We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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