Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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