Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
