Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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