is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
