It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
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Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
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They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up under a house in Key West
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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