I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
