Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
